My YouTube watching has settled down from the obsessive negative conspiracy truther sniping back and forth to something better.
There are several words I don't think I have to ever hear again. "Shill" tops the list.
I've been so used to Republicans and Democrats pretending like they can find no redeeming qualities in one another. Do they really now know that each keeps the other in business?
But it took me a little while to understand how pervasive that idea that "the other guy" is the problem is within the Truther community. Instead of half the country being right, truthers think they stand alone or with one or two other people.
Apostle Laura Lee gets that.
There are many things she says that well... let me stop.
But I love how she clearly states that truth unfolds and no one has all of it. People change their mind and it doesn't mean they are the enemy.
Jungle Surfer can't stand to be questioned. Now how is he going to say a new idea that no one has ever expressed before, that is so far out there... and expect anyone who hears that for the first time to just go along with it? His whole set of channels is built upon skepticism and Il love that; but no one is allowed to be skeptical of him? Dave J or Johnson is the same. And they both have some great points. But I can't imagine anyone else on earth agreeing with either of them more than 90 percent of the time and they both seem to require 100 percent allegiance or the other person is dismissed completely. It must be a lonely life.
Today I listened again to Dr. Tarrin Lupo's video about not living in fear and it echos some things I've been told recently from someone who has personal experience in escaping a fear-filled life. It's to avoid "What if" and to do that by asking oneself "What's the worst that can happen?" I was talking to someone else who wants to start a cabaret show- I think he said nightclub act- and he described once when it didn't work. Why are so many people afraid to fail? This guy just played a part better than I've seen anyone on YouTube do it- ever. And he's questioning his ability to pick his own songs, find an accompanist and play successfully in public? Of course he can do that. And so can I. It's just that not everyone is going to like me. Or him. And why would anyone want to be liked by everyone anyway?
So this fake news thing is making the mainstream media and that's great. It's about time news organizations admitted that they tell us what to think with the facts that they want to give us. But that's what we're doing ourselves when we live out of a place of fear. We fit the facts into the framework to reinforce the negative. And this is what being free right now is helping me to learn.
There is no need to get caught up in the whirlwind even if it is constructed of true; not alternate, facts. There is no need. And like my aunt says- there is no need to worry about a problem that hasn't happened.
I once or twice or ten times heard the acronym for Fear as false evidence appearing real and that's true of the fake news designed to scare us that we hear from within ourselves or anywhere else. But the problem of that acronym is that it assumes that there is nothing to fear. But there is. It's just that we fear too many things and too often. I think there is a place for fear. But there is not a place for worry.
I heard once or twice that the word worry- probably in the Greek, I think- comes from wiggling on a splinter and that thought gets lodged in there. I'm not sure if wiggling on a splinter might not help it dislodge but listening to the recording over and over of something bad in my head is certainly some fake news I can get rid of.
Thank you 45 for pointing out that CNN has been the Clinton News Network. It takes a liar to know one I guess. Can we admit that we all misrepresent ourselves? Can we start there? If a news story is told about a mother that's a particular beginning. If it's told about a single mother that's another. If it's told about a daughter... or employee... or manager.... or Floridian... all of those facts can be true at the same time about the same person, but how do we put the idea forward? Have we already decided that mothers are supposed to be nurturing so presenting an accused murderer as one makes it a better story? Have we already decided that a single mother is virtuous so that puts a certain image in mind? Well I'm sure there are some single mothers who are not victims of circumstance but flat out evil, right? Probably a few.
I actually like the idea of alternate facts- probably not at all in the way that the phrase was coined in news stories I try to avoid- but the world is full of facts. Which ones make the best story? And what are newscasters- story tellers or investigators?
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Cletha B
Boy things have sure changed around here Miss Cletha since you been gone. Yesterday I heard screamin' and yellin' from somebody's front stoop across the way and you would never guess what they was fighting about. They were talking about Cain. They were raising Cain talking about Cain and how he was able to find a wife when there weren't anybody on the earth but him and his daddy and mooma. I think some of the arguers figured out that Adam and Eve had many children, but I think some of the other ones hadn't figured that out and couldn't have figured out what that meant for Cain even if they had.
Some of them was young.
When you was here everbody be arguin' 'bout which kind of drugs they was goin' buy. But that's not the way it is now, Miss Cletha.
You wouldn't recognize the place.
I remember when I used to say that welfare checks wuz spent on firecrackers ever New Year's and 4th of July. Now at the time I didn't think that was all true but I knew I had a good point. I don't think that's the case any more. You really wouldn't recognize the place.
I look around and I like the paint color, but I remember you had to say somethin' against it before you left. You said it looked like baby poo. It didn't to me. It looks good. It's not great, but there's this fake Italianate color scheme that was real popular ten years back so of course we just caught up with it. The dark brown is rich and not quite chocolate. It's pretty dark but no one would think it was black. And the golden tan color isn't quite yellow and it's more colorful than beige. I did like the grey better against the great big sky we have here behind us, but as far as colors go, it looks good now too.
You wouldn't remember how much your house stinked. You wouldn't remember how loud hat dog was when it got petted so loud people called the police on you thinking that was the best way to report an animal being tortured. You wouldn't remember the one time you said something nice about a black person. And you wouldn't remember how many good things you had in your life. You were determined to see the bad and you certainly saw a lot of that.
Some of them was young.
When you was here everbody be arguin' 'bout which kind of drugs they was goin' buy. But that's not the way it is now, Miss Cletha.
You wouldn't recognize the place.
I remember when I used to say that welfare checks wuz spent on firecrackers ever New Year's and 4th of July. Now at the time I didn't think that was all true but I knew I had a good point. I don't think that's the case any more. You really wouldn't recognize the place.
I look around and I like the paint color, but I remember you had to say somethin' against it before you left. You said it looked like baby poo. It didn't to me. It looks good. It's not great, but there's this fake Italianate color scheme that was real popular ten years back so of course we just caught up with it. The dark brown is rich and not quite chocolate. It's pretty dark but no one would think it was black. And the golden tan color isn't quite yellow and it's more colorful than beige. I did like the grey better against the great big sky we have here behind us, but as far as colors go, it looks good now too.
You wouldn't remember how much your house stinked. You wouldn't remember how loud hat dog was when it got petted so loud people called the police on you thinking that was the best way to report an animal being tortured. You wouldn't remember the one time you said something nice about a black person. And you wouldn't remember how many good things you had in your life. You were determined to see the bad and you certainly saw a lot of that.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Notes on The Magus (1968)
Yesterday I was thinking about the concept of "things as old as me." Specifically, I was on my way to Walk Dizzy Whirl and although it's a little younger than me, it came to mind as timeless and old-fashioned and ahead of its time. just like me. Then there is Sonny's which debuted in 1968.
That same year, The Magus film was released and I'm sure I didn't notice.
There's great value in seeing a movie again, I think. And I've noticed that the way my mind works is that I'm caught up in the narrative - maybe, sometimes- and although I've already seen what happens; the next time I see a movie I can concentrate on plot better because I'm not as bamboozled by the other things the second time around.
Anthony Quinn- the Most Interesting Man in the World; Michael Caine- Mister Blonde British Ingenue; and Candice Bergen- The Non-Hitchcock Blonde; all do a great job drawing me in to what I see now as a parable for me. What do I do? Where do I fit in? What's this all about? Who is that man behind the curtain? And wait. how many curtains are there?
As I contemplate the possibility of spectating live around the world with millions, the grande dame of initiation rites into the screen legends club- the Oscars are tonight- I think of that checkered floor featured in so many YouTube videos descrying Masonry. I've recently met a Mason, and he's a great person. Now what does that tell me the non-initiated, about the club? Not much, presume. But in the Magus, the world stage and the actors upon it are pared down to the audience- reality show performers- bit players who only know part of the story- and actors;; who surround the candid cameraed Michael Caine and make him see a little of himself and a little of his perspective of the world.
The Magus wouldn't work in the same way today. The idea of "fallen woman" has fallen so far that in order to build up rage against someone as icy beautiful as Bergen, she would have to be accused of serial killings or something. After all, in order to win for playing one, Charlize had to get bad teeth and frizzy hair as well as the worst cinematic sin of all- bad skin. Of course, it wasn't even really that bad, but kind of normal which should never be up on the screen- horrors!
The Magus would be a great one of those theoretical to come type movies that involve real actors in real sex scenes that aren't really the point of the movie. I think we're almost there. Trump's accused of golden showers with no film to back it up- Hillary has her lesbian lover who's husband's parts have been documented but Yoko's lovers' "crimes against humanity" go unseen. Of course the day is coming when one of the Presidential races will be decided with pornographic evidence as part of the mix. This hasn't happened yet? In the age of cell phone cameras and unparalleled voyeurism?
Caine is playing that part that I identify with - White Boy in this place, but played by women too- usually blonde, wide-eyed and innocent- The Canvas. Luke in the Star Wars saga, Lawrence in Arabia, Jude Law, Alfie, Albert Finney, Peppard in Tiffany's, some Ryan or another (Gosling, Phillipe, Jeri or Meg or Reynolds), James Dean or Ashley Gone With the Wind without knowing how that happened exactly- a white canvas being easier to paint on, Morgan Fairchild, one of the wives of John Derek wide-eyed like white English cotton, or corn, or potatoes; all bleached like white flour before toasting to just the right color.
Quinn is of course the man of mystery- the Mexican, the Greek, the international swashbuckling Flynn, Harrison Ford, Rhett selling no wine before its time- a little older, wiser, wine women and song man.
Candice is of course the woman. Diana chaste and Madonna pure. Hellenized into the ideal- so naturally she doesn't do much.
The trappings of history are there. Nothing left of Egypt but the mask of the jackal god- death and mummification of course; leading to Hellenization and that little smile the inkling of self-recognition we Westerners see when we look back behind the shutters to reveal a version of man in the past we can be comfortable with. Almost Greek- they say, whenever an antiquity doesn't fit the timeline presenting Liberty ss the pinnacle of human experience.
Freedom to do what? Hurt the woman instead of himself? Become the Man of Mystery?
So there he is, I AM, surrounded by a violin and students; the Aegean and its dregs, shimmering in the sun on a golden shore being kidnapped from the forest chapel and living surrounded by Byzantine murals.
That same year, The Magus film was released and I'm sure I didn't notice.
There's great value in seeing a movie again, I think. And I've noticed that the way my mind works is that I'm caught up in the narrative - maybe, sometimes- and although I've already seen what happens; the next time I see a movie I can concentrate on plot better because I'm not as bamboozled by the other things the second time around.
Anthony Quinn- the Most Interesting Man in the World; Michael Caine- Mister Blonde British Ingenue; and Candice Bergen- The Non-Hitchcock Blonde; all do a great job drawing me in to what I see now as a parable for me. What do I do? Where do I fit in? What's this all about? Who is that man behind the curtain? And wait. how many curtains are there?
As I contemplate the possibility of spectating live around the world with millions, the grande dame of initiation rites into the screen legends club- the Oscars are tonight- I think of that checkered floor featured in so many YouTube videos descrying Masonry. I've recently met a Mason, and he's a great person. Now what does that tell me the non-initiated, about the club? Not much, presume. But in the Magus, the world stage and the actors upon it are pared down to the audience- reality show performers- bit players who only know part of the story- and actors;; who surround the candid cameraed Michael Caine and make him see a little of himself and a little of his perspective of the world.
The Magus wouldn't work in the same way today. The idea of "fallen woman" has fallen so far that in order to build up rage against someone as icy beautiful as Bergen, she would have to be accused of serial killings or something. After all, in order to win for playing one, Charlize had to get bad teeth and frizzy hair as well as the worst cinematic sin of all- bad skin. Of course, it wasn't even really that bad, but kind of normal which should never be up on the screen- horrors!
The Magus would be a great one of those theoretical to come type movies that involve real actors in real sex scenes that aren't really the point of the movie. I think we're almost there. Trump's accused of golden showers with no film to back it up- Hillary has her lesbian lover who's husband's parts have been documented but Yoko's lovers' "crimes against humanity" go unseen. Of course the day is coming when one of the Presidential races will be decided with pornographic evidence as part of the mix. This hasn't happened yet? In the age of cell phone cameras and unparalleled voyeurism?
Caine is playing that part that I identify with - White Boy in this place, but played by women too- usually blonde, wide-eyed and innocent- The Canvas. Luke in the Star Wars saga, Lawrence in Arabia, Jude Law, Alfie, Albert Finney, Peppard in Tiffany's, some Ryan or another (Gosling, Phillipe, Jeri or Meg or Reynolds), James Dean or Ashley Gone With the Wind without knowing how that happened exactly- a white canvas being easier to paint on, Morgan Fairchild, one of the wives of John Derek wide-eyed like white English cotton, or corn, or potatoes; all bleached like white flour before toasting to just the right color.
Quinn is of course the man of mystery- the Mexican, the Greek, the international swashbuckling Flynn, Harrison Ford, Rhett selling no wine before its time- a little older, wiser, wine women and song man.
Candice is of course the woman. Diana chaste and Madonna pure. Hellenized into the ideal- so naturally she doesn't do much.
The trappings of history are there. Nothing left of Egypt but the mask of the jackal god- death and mummification of course; leading to Hellenization and that little smile the inkling of self-recognition we Westerners see when we look back behind the shutters to reveal a version of man in the past we can be comfortable with. Almost Greek- they say, whenever an antiquity doesn't fit the timeline presenting Liberty ss the pinnacle of human experience.
Freedom to do what? Hurt the woman instead of himself? Become the Man of Mystery?
So there he is, I AM, surrounded by a violin and students; the Aegean and its dregs, shimmering in the sun on a golden shore being kidnapped from the forest chapel and living surrounded by Byzantine murals.
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Quote from John Fowles' The Magus
Your first reaction is the characteristic one of your contrasuggestible
century: to disbelieve, to disprove. I see this very clearly underneath
your politeness. You are like a porcupine. When that animal has its
spines erect, it cannot eat. If you do not eat, you will starve.
Cletha A
I never like to go there because the place smells like an ashtray covered in dog. I'm not sure what that means exactly but the smell of dog and the smells of cigarettes hit me like a brick.
There's that smoke smell; which I've always hated. And it's different than that yellow nicotine smell that has settled into the carpet, the upholstery, the curtains the clothes the soft surfaces and been ingrained so far down that even they can't stand it- they can't take any more and so even the countertops and the linoleum reek.
I once had delicious cheese cubes from there. The grieving guest brought up a cheese tray and I picked cubes from it; different cheeses mixed together- and delighted in the smoked flavor until I realized there was no way the grocery assembled smoked cheddar, smoked swiss, smoked jack, smoked mozzarella and smoked gouda. Only one of those had been smoked before it left the store, but they all absorbed the flavoring of that hideous room downstairs after sitting in it overnight.
There's that smoke smell; which I've always hated. And it's different than that yellow nicotine smell that has settled into the carpet, the upholstery, the curtains the clothes the soft surfaces and been ingrained so far down that even they can't stand it- they can't take any more and so even the countertops and the linoleum reek.
I once had delicious cheese cubes from there. The grieving guest brought up a cheese tray and I picked cubes from it; different cheeses mixed together- and delighted in the smoked flavor until I realized there was no way the grocery assembled smoked cheddar, smoked swiss, smoked jack, smoked mozzarella and smoked gouda. Only one of those had been smoked before it left the store, but they all absorbed the flavoring of that hideous room downstairs after sitting in it overnight.
Epcot, McD's Guava Pie and RaceTrac Donuts
Tonight I'm sitting here in my own little house; a place where I can look out the window and see grass and trees from above, and it hits me that yesterday was pretty good. I went to Epcot, where live many good memories and a few bad ones- and I didn't have to stay long. Just being there was enough to bring the good memories back and I really don't think I thought about any of the bad ones but maybe for just two minutes or something. I had my third guava and cream cheese pie, and my second RaceTrac donut; free from filling out a survey. So not only do they have the cheapest gas but there is a selection of treat the next time just for two minutes of my feedback.
Thanks life.
There have been many good things the past seven months and these are just three that come to mind. It's great to visit Walk Dizzy Whirl whenever I want; having cheap gas handy at many corners and several corner offices in McD's throughout the state. I never have to clean up or cook there and I like that.
Sincerely,
Carl
Thanks life.
There have been many good things the past seven months and these are just three that come to mind. It's great to visit Walk Dizzy Whirl whenever I want; having cheap gas handy at many corners and several corner offices in McD's throughout the state. I never have to clean up or cook there and I like that.
Sincerely,
Carl
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
February
Staying in an upstairs apt looking down at lots of trees. wind blowing through the place... if you're still using A.C. what is wrong with you- except in August.
Recently discovered guava cream cheese pie at McD's.
Been winning trivia on Tuesdays.
Getting ready to go visit the Mouse.
Recently discovered guava cream cheese pie at McD's.
Been winning trivia on Tuesdays.
Getting ready to go visit the Mouse.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Today at the Beach
At Lake Worth, sitting where John G's used to be- the food was good and the ocean was bluish green. The company was great and the waiter was alright.
John G's I'll have to get to you soon, but the setting was great. Little dogs walked by and one rolled by in a stroller.
I don't think I put enough quarters in but I didn't get a ticket.
The sonic boom last night on account of Mar-a-Lago keeps the focus on how central we are here, in the center of the world, at the middle of today; where the tropics begin. Ha!
John G's I'll have to get to you soon, but the setting was great. Little dogs walked by and one rolled by in a stroller.
I don't think I put enough quarters in but I didn't get a ticket.
The sonic boom last night on account of Mar-a-Lago keeps the focus on how central we are here, in the center of the world, at the middle of today; where the tropics begin. Ha!
The Idiocy of Theodicy in the Age of Ultron
When I was in college, one of the choices for an emphasis in a Religion degree was theodicy.
I had heard of The Odyssey, but the term theodicy was new to me. It's all about the question of whether God is all powerful and all good, even though there is evil in the world.
This topic interests me for about a minute.
How would I know if God is all powerful and/or all good?
The conception of God, using Latin terms that can't be in the Bible, since the Bible isn't in Latin, uses ideas such as omnipotence and omnipresence. There are many terms that are so big that they don't mean anything.
When I think of The Odyssey, or any plot involving polytheism, there are various pushers of reality behind the scenes and they disagree. But if there is One behind it all, then how do we reconcile what we see with one overriding intelligence?
Well, that's easy- we back up enough to say "hey- I don't understand this." You can get a PhD in it if you want to but what have you accomplished.
In the Age of Ultron, I liked the title. But seeing bigger and badder creatures fight one another stretches no envelope for me. Somebody's going to win and as we make movies bigger and badder at some point we realize that we really don't know what the bigger badder thing is. It's a limited screen holding our creation up there and oooh... look at that- the monster fills the screen so how much bigger can it get?
As power and general badness exceed the scope of our understanding, what have we accomplished but that same thing as putting your eye up so close to something that you can't see it.
Joyce Carol Oates The Accursed p. 442-3
If we don't know the future, and have no idea what God's plan for us is, are we not in a position to imagine "free will"?- and are we not responsible, in any case, for our actions?
I had heard of The Odyssey, but the term theodicy was new to me. It's all about the question of whether God is all powerful and all good, even though there is evil in the world.
This topic interests me for about a minute.
How would I know if God is all powerful and/or all good?
The conception of God, using Latin terms that can't be in the Bible, since the Bible isn't in Latin, uses ideas such as omnipotence and omnipresence. There are many terms that are so big that they don't mean anything.
When I think of The Odyssey, or any plot involving polytheism, there are various pushers of reality behind the scenes and they disagree. But if there is One behind it all, then how do we reconcile what we see with one overriding intelligence?
Well, that's easy- we back up enough to say "hey- I don't understand this." You can get a PhD in it if you want to but what have you accomplished.
In the Age of Ultron, I liked the title. But seeing bigger and badder creatures fight one another stretches no envelope for me. Somebody's going to win and as we make movies bigger and badder at some point we realize that we really don't know what the bigger badder thing is. It's a limited screen holding our creation up there and oooh... look at that- the monster fills the screen so how much bigger can it get?
As power and general badness exceed the scope of our understanding, what have we accomplished but that same thing as putting your eye up so close to something that you can't see it.
Joyce Carol Oates The Accursed p. 442-3
If we don't know the future, and have no idea what God's plan for us is, are we not in a position to imagine "free will"?- and are we not responsible, in any case, for our actions?
That Day at Animal Kingdom
This morning I'm hearing the birds singing and the ticking of a clock. I remember that day at Animal Kingdom when I arrived early enough to hear the gibbons calling. Looking back, the work was so ill-suited for me but there were moments of transcendence like that one. Disney is so interesting behind the scenes and especially when it's quiet.
The trucks driving in front of the castle and sweeping everything from there through Frontierland...
Islands In The Stream playing over and over in Frontierland...
Forgetting to take my supplies out to clean the popcorn machine next to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad...
Riding If You Had Wings 23 times in a day...
Realizing I had passed the test and got to taste all the ice creams and hello that's not as fun as it sounds because there's a limit to the amount of sugar that tastes good...
Main Street popcorn stand on New Year's Eve- pop music at the castle...
Getting paid to clean up ice cream machines- just one other person around...Camp Minnie and Mickey no more and ..
Realizing it was just a job to most of them....
Dumping over drink carts accidentally....
The trucks driving in front of the castle and sweeping everything from there through Frontierland...
Islands In The Stream playing over and over in Frontierland...
Forgetting to take my supplies out to clean the popcorn machine next to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad...
Riding If You Had Wings 23 times in a day...
Realizing I had passed the test and got to taste all the ice creams and hello that's not as fun as it sounds because there's a limit to the amount of sugar that tastes good...
Main Street popcorn stand on New Year's Eve- pop music at the castle...
Getting paid to clean up ice cream machines- just one other person around...Camp Minnie and Mickey no more and ..
Realizing it was just a job to most of them....
Dumping over drink carts accidentally....
Evita Photos
It's been a long time since I've been in a show and now, it's like "What next?"
Here are some more pics from Facebook.
We ran for three weeks.
Here are some more pics from Facebook.
We ran for three weeks.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Evita
There was a book I liked called Santa Evita, and part of its charm was that it was free to me as a bookstore employee- in a special advance edition.
Then the movie came out and I thought it was great.
Just recently I finished performing in the production of the show and now it's like, "What's next?"
Then the movie came out and I thought it was great.
Just recently I finished performing in the production of the show and now it's like, "What's next?"
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