Saturday, July 4, 2015

Old Friend and the Balancing Act

It was nice running into an old friend yesterday.

He isn't old.  He's someone I haven't seen in a long time, although we're both in the age group that starts to think about being old.  I don't feel old, thank goodness, except for that right hip and my back and my knees sometimes.

I hadn't seen him in years and it was a pleasant surprise.  What I especially liked is that neither of us tried to justify our behavior.  I haven't called him or e-mailed him in years and as far as I know, he's not done the same.  I didn't feel the need to say why or when or apologize.  We all know that friends and strangers and family members; all relationships, are temporary.  Why apologize for this?  I suppose my beliefs include this, but I also feel that I can benefit from everyone and there's just too many people.  I know that if I was on a deserted island with another person than that person would probably be my friend!  Choosing my own friends, for how long, and to what extent, isn't easy for me.

I feel that I am in the age of options and there are too many to choose from.  I also feel that I like options, so why does this overwhelm me?

I want to do everything, but I know I can't do even close to that.

In some way, we've never had so many options, but one thing that bothers me about options is how there are many, but they are categorized into twos.

Are there many, or are there two?

You can have any soda you want, but they're almost all either actually Coke or Pepsi.  You can be black or white, (which is arbitrary, but binding nonetheless), and you can be male or female. (This has become a choice too.)  Well, why do we have lots of choices but then pick from two of them?

If I just take these three examples- Coke and Pepsi are the huge giants among a crowded field, yet each restaurant that has a soda fountain almost certainly has to pick one; not both, or not one with other options.  Black and white is such a limited view of race that I can't stand it.  We've taken two categories that are arbitrary and fluid, and excluded most of the world from being either one.  Then we're pretending like we're not living in a world where a white woman with a man's name can mother a Black president.  Black and white is so arbitrary, obviously, but there are institutions and worldviews built around this meaningless construct.  Male and female are real categories and aren't very fluid.  Statistically, they are cast in stone.  Yet, people equate race and gender as if they are both categories that are either false or mean everything.

I'm so confused.

Maybe I'm not.

I love Coke and hate Pepsi.  This is weird because it's all sugar water and I'm definitely drinking less sugar water than I was in the last decade.

I'm pretty much the whitest person I know in looks, but not at all in tastes and preferences.

I'm so male to myself that I find it difficult to accept that people see me as someone they have to squint at to discern  gender.  Baldness and beardedness certainly help in this area.

What does the category of male have to do with sports (which is just one particular manifestation of pretend competitiveness) or appearance (only certain expressions are acceptable and have to seem as if they are serendipitous, not planned too much) or being enthusiastic about anything other than sports, babies or sex?  

I'm a male.  I am considered white.  I am moving away from Coke to drinks that don't have much sugar, but I have not figured out electrolytes.  I believe that electrolytes are "any substance containing free ions. This includes sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, and I think one or more of these should be adjusted in me.

I've been drinking more water lately, eating less honey than usual, drinking more tea (unsweet) than usual, and my ears are stuffed.  Water/electrolyte balance is off, I believe.


Hmmm, that's the problem.  We're pretending like protein is one thing, and carbs are one thing and water is one thing and electrolytes are one thing.  Then we're trying to eliminate one or more of them.  We need a balance.

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